Your friend LP

Updated every Sunday

Bye, summer! Hi, grind!

Today was the last day of my summer break. There has been a homework assignment on Blackboard for about a week now, that I haven’t looked at. This is the first of around 35 assignments I will have to complete to pass that class. I have to email my supervisor to discuss how I am ever going to write a thesis proposal that will be to the liking of The Powers That Be. I have to start writing my thesis. The level of aversion I feel is high, very very high. But on the other hand: uranium mining it’s not and if I manage to stay healthy, all of this will be done in 5 months.

I have decided to take an extra class in business writing. This is the first time our university offers a 99,9% online class and I thought I should support that, so that maybe they’ll offer more online classes in the coming years. Not that it matters to me anymore as I have no credits left, but I am quite sure that there will always be students who, like I would have, will benefit enormously from the possibility of taking online classes. And I also hope that this business writing class will distract me a bit from all the other things I still need to do.

Apart from being very anxious for this semester to be over and done with, I also can’t help but feel a deep sadness about how my studies transpired. I remember the almost extatic happiness I felt when I decided to go back to university, and the high hopes I had. It was going to be the start of a new life, it was going to “fix” the wrong turn(s) I had taken years ago. I was finally going to become the person I was always supposed to be. Of course I am aware that these hopes were quite unrealistic and a bit on the childish side, and probably inspired by all the “after a long and difficult life I went back to university where everything was perfect and I turned out to be the most brilliant genius this side of Foucault”-stories I read online. What can I say, I am a sucker for comeback stories. And it really, really hurts that this isn’t mine.

However, I can’t dwell on these feelings for too long as I don’t want to get into the good old “f*ck this sh*t” state of mind and drop out. Because although at this point in time I really feel like this BA degree has the same value as a fourth typing diploma (I trufax have three typing diplomas already!), I think it’s best if I do get the piece of paper anyway. And that is as hopeful and positive as I can get today. Bonne rentrée, everybody.

Clark, sleeping

In an interesting new position:


Rest assured, his nose is most definitely on his paw.

Aaand… I’m back!

What’s that saying again, “A hiatus is what happens when you’re busy doing other stuff” or something? After having spent most of July indoors and noticing that I was sliding into a funk of epic proportions, I spent most of August doing things Not At Home: I met up with friends I hadn’t seen in a long while, went to a theme park, visited a museum and left my house entirely so a new floor could be installed in my bedroom.

I also had an attack of The Arty and ventured outside of my usual artyness by creating two huge paintings, to be hung on a huge white wall.

First, there’s “LP goes Pollock”:

LP goes Pollock 1

which was indeed created by throwing paint onto the canvas. This was a lot more complicated and strenuous than I expected it to be. I have a new found appreciation for that Pollock dude, that’s for sure.

The creation of the second one did not involve the throwing of paint:

Kunst 2

While The Big Kahuna sees a heart that’s beating in a hardcore fashion, I sorta see a highway. The person who commissioned it however is convinced it’s a Rorschach test, so we’re both right. :-D

From Sunday on, I will be resuming my regular posting schedule, so things will be back to normal. Well, to as normal as things get around here.


Yup, I’m done with camp:


Last week, when I was approaching the 10,000 word goal I had set myself, I decided to up it to 15,000 as I was nowhere near done generating everything I wanted to generate. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have done that. I should have forced myself to just be more concise and cut things off at 10,000 instead of then having to force myself to write 5,000 extra words of which I will probably only get to use a 1,000 or so. It’s just not a very efficient way of working. For those noticing the word “forcing”: it is a sad fact that (at this point in my life) I have to pretty much force myself to do anything, creative or otherwise. It gets things done, but it’s not a very fun or satisfying way of working.

I have been in a huge funk in general these days, mostly frustrated and bored with my entire existence, both online and off. This is usually a sign that I’ve been spending too much time at home and too much time Thinking, so my plan is going to be to leave the house a bit more in the coming weeks, see some art, meet some peeps, pet some cats.

Sketchbooks galore

With this being most likely the last long summer break ~ever~, I figured that this was an excellent moment to try and finish up all of my current projects in process. Eons ago, I started working on who “extra” sketchbooks: The Memoir Project and one that was part of the Limited Edition series. By “working on” I mean that I was still in the “generating ideas”-stage of both projects when the deadlines flew by, and I hadn’t worked on them since.

When I found out that you are still able to send in your sketchbooks even (way) past the deadline, I realised that rebooting these projects would be the most efficient way of silencing that “You didn’t finish this!”-voice in the back of my head. Problem was: I had no clue what happened to the two sketchbooks, so I decided to make them myself.

For The Memoir Project, I took a pink, velvet-printed notebook, dismantled it and cut it to size. For the Limited Edition one, I took some of that fancy eco-friendly 120 grams off-white paper and hand bound it together into a book shape. Of course I took pictures during all of this, but when transferring them from my camera to my laptop I saw that they were all blurry beyond postability, except for this one:


From left to right: Sketchbook 2016, The Memoir Project, Limited Edition

As you can see in the picture, I also did the cover for my 2016 sketchbook. Updates on all individual projects to follow of course, and yes, I’ll make sure to wear my glasses before deciding “Yup, this picture is ok!” and moving on.

How this year was (recap time!)

Fear not, I am well aware of the fact that today is not Sunday. I was however waiting for all my grades and points to be registered before writing my annual “How this year went” post, as I did not want to jinx things, and for reasons unknown it took until today for that to happen. The registering, not the jinxing. It’s safe to assume the teachers were also struck by the Horrid Heat™ we had around here last week.

The excellent news is that I have passed all my classes. All together now: yay! This means that in the coming academic year, I will only have to write my thesis and take philosophy of science, and I’ll be done.

This academic year was the most, for lack of a better word, enjoyable to date: I was reasonably healthy (no huge health issues) and therefore managed to adhere to all my deadlines without having to ask for any extensions. It was of course still too much work, way too fragmented and hardly ever in depth enough for me, but I realise that I’ve gotten better at just accepting that this is the way things are during this phase in my life, and that it’s not going to be like this forever.

The fact that I wasn’t sick and/or exhausted all the time made it a lot easier to deal with the occasional frustration and sense of “this is all SO useless” that I did feel, and it also made managing my exam terror about 97% easier. On top of that, I even got to do things that I actually enjoy: a linguistic research project, acting (using this word very loosely) and writing. If all else fails, I can – and will! – use the fact that I was part of the first creative writing class ever taught at the UvA as my claim to fame.

For the next semester, I’m hoping to keep up the good health and good work. In the next few weeks I will be working on projects that I did not get to during the year, work in progress posts with pictures will follow as always.

Camp NaNoWriMo

All together now to the tune of “Timber“: “It’s going DOWN! We’re going CAMPIIIIIIINGGG! Eat virtual smores, have lots of fun!” Is it obvious that I’m really looking forward to Camp NaNoWriMo this year?


If anyone reading this is also participating and looking for a cabin, we still have room in ours, so hit me up either in the comments or by emailing me at Updates about my progress and such will of course follow during the month!

Where’s my motivation?

The coming week is – finally! – The Final Week of both this semester and this academic year. I only have two more things to finish up and do/hand in, so that’s not a lot. My motivation however has reached the minus 1000 level and all I really want to do is absolutely zilch. So if anybody’s got some spare motivation lying around, or has found mine somewhere, please send it my way?

My Creative Writing Portfolio Adventure

And I’m back! I had planned for this post to go up last week, but after finishing up my portfolio I still had exams to prepare and proposals to write and then it was today already!

So, my portfolio. For my creative writing class I was expected to hand in a portfolio consising of 20 – 30 A4 pages of writing, a two page process reflection, and of course an index and a title. It also said that while not obligatory, nice paper and such was appreciated, so I of course went on a trek to my dear friends at Vlieger Papier. At first I thought I would just put my portfolio in a regular binder, but then I saw a green art-portfolio thing and this happened (as usual, all pictures can be embiggened by clicking on them):

Collage 1

The green thing is an art portfolio/travel folder, you know, the type you transport drawings in, or fancy paper. I decided to get the attachable clip thing pictured above right and attach it to the folder.

On the bottom right you can see how I measured out where the clip had to be attached by using a piece of paper with hole punches in the right location. As you can also see, I had some issues adjusting my hole punch, resulting in useless holes on the right.

The funky tool thing is my awl, or “pointy piercy thing, you know, for paper things” as I usually call it. The white thing on top of it is a piece of foam to avoid having the pointy piercy thing pointily piercing my hand when I pick it up from the box I keep it in. The piece of foam is also the home of both my bookbinding and weave sowing needles.

Collage 2

After measuring out the holes, I punched them with my awl (photo left), widened the holes (not pictured), put the screw-like thing through (top right) and then literally hammered the clip onto the folder.

This took some force, generated by anger and frustration I felt over at that point not having written my second story while the deadline was a mere 9 hours away. This is also why I have no pictures of the actual writing or printing, as I ended up priting everything at 16:00, when the deadline was at 17:00 and I still had to travel for 30 minutes. #livingontheedge

Collage 3

Thankfully public transport was on my side and I got to the Bungehuis at 16:45, where I proceeded to finish up the assembly of my portfolio. As you can see in the picture on the left, I had not only taken my folder and my printed out materials, but also my hole punch, tape and a piece of cardboard, and got to work.

After almost breaking my hole punch due to forgetting that I had chosen to use fancy eco-friendly 120 grams off-white paper instead of regular 80 grams paper, I ended up with a neat little pile of hole punched fancy eco-friendly 120 grams off-white paper topped off with a ultra-fancy kinda-expensive handmade off-white cotton-based paper cover sheet. Because I’m hardcore like that. The heart covers my IRL name and such, fear not: there is not actually a giant red heart on my cover page.

In the picture on the right you see the finished product: the cardboard wraparound has my name and the teacher’s name on the other side, and a piece of orange “Fragile” tape on the back. I then put it in my teacher’s pigeonhole and checked the time: 16:53. I did a “Yesss!” like I’d just won something and proceeded to call my mom, whose sigh of relief could be heard down the hall.

Only in my brain

Does this

combined with this

inspire a short story for my creative writing portfolio due tomorrow. That I still need to write, like, right now. Wish me luck! :-D


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