Teachers say the darndest things

by LP

I was going through my notes (more on my inability to take notes like a normal person later) and found some sound bites, courtesy of two of my teachers. To maximize your experience, pretend you’re me, sitting in a class room with 15 other students, being one of the few who thinks this is hilarious. Enjoy!

First up is T., who according to a couple of my classmates, is “a hottie”, which is why they’re too busy ogling him to hear him say stuff like:

“Hi, I’m T! I’m from Chicago, came here to study, stayed for a woman. Also, I’m completely hopped up on painkillers!” [introducing himself at the beginning of the first class of the year.]

“Think of it as Goldilocks living in a student apartment: “Who’s been messing with my computer?”

Completely deadpan: “Get busy? No, that’s sex.” [Correcting a student who read out his translation which should have said something along the lines of “and then she went to work”]

And then there’s J., who is either loved or hated, but mostly feared for being “a radical feminist”. I think she’s pretty awesome, especially when she says things like:

“Who wants to be picked on? Who’s a masochist? *points at dude named Christian* “Christian? You seem like one. Aren’t all Christians masochists?”

While reading an essay out loud: “…women are stuck in a minty position…” *literally folds over laughing, almost headdesks* “Minty position? That’s the BEST TYPO EVER!”

“Don’t be a d*ck!” [to classmate P., who suffers from White Male Talking Syndrome and who was on his daily ‘feminism is STOOOPID’-rant again]

“Dave, Nadia and Kelly, could you read the next three sentences please?” to my classmates J., S. and me. We collectively cracked up and weren’t able to read any sentences for the next 3 minutes, while our teacher went: “Peter? No?” to J., “Annabel? Something with an A?” to S., and ”But you, you look like a Kelly!” to me.

Must be my accent… 😉