Your friend LP

It's been real! 2011 – 2016

Month: April, 2016

So now what?

When I was admitted to hospital, I figured this was it: I had a hard time speaking, could only see half of what I was supposed to see and was told that what I had thought was a two day migraine, had actually been a stroke – in short: I was f*cked.

“Once your blood pressure and other physical ailments are in check, you will have to go to a rehab facility to learn how to live with this” was what they told me. The only thing I could think at that time, was “well, nobody will ever be able to tell me I am a lazy person who pretends to be sick and who should just suck it up anymore – I had a stroke, I no longer have to prove myself now!” Yup, this is kinda sad. Which in turn is an understatement.

Of course, I was beyond relieved when after a few days I quite magically regained my speech, sight, and also my senses. But I was still convinced that I wasn’t going to finish my BA or do Anything Ever In Life Again. I figured that, while doctors might be convinced that my cognitive abilities were not affected in the long term, the fact that I didn’t understand evidentiality was a sign that my ~academic career~ was over. Until I realised that the week before I went to the hospital, I also didn’t really understand evidentiality – because I just don’t understand evidentiality, really. 😀

Then I thought about how much life I had wasted already trying to get this BA, and how awful I would feel if I spent another 3 months on it, and then died within the year. Yes, I am quite dramatic. Apart from the fact that – if things continue the way they are going and nothing freaky/accidental happens of course – this “me dying within the year”-thing is not very likely, I then also envisioned a worse situation: what my life would be like if I keep living for another 5, 10, 15, etcetera years, but DON’T finish my degree, and DON’T go to Kingston for my MA. That would actually be worse. And then I had to quit one of my medications due to side effects and started worrying about how I am supposed to study while guineapigging (being a Zebra, it might take a while to find the right combination of medications) because how am I supposed to study while in pain and… aaaaaaaaargh.

So currently I am in (thankfully less) pain, worried about my health and my future, and totally unsure what to do. So I figured I might as well try and rewrite that proposal for the umpteenth time this week. As they say in Dutch: “you never know, a cow might catch a hare” meaning “the unlikely could happen”. It wouldn’t be the first time that it did. *wishes for the unlikely to happen*

 

 

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Exhibits

In the last few weeks, I have visited a couple of exhibitions. The first one (pre-hospital) was the “David Bowie is” one at the Groninger Museum. I had wanted to see it in London in 2013, but was unable to, since I was travelling to Berkeley that summer. *coughgodIsoundlikeanassholecough* Thankfully, I then learned that it was going to travel to Groningen, which is about 2 1/2 hours away from where I am, so as soon as the tickets went on sale, I snipered two of them: one for me and one for The Big Kahuna, aka my mom. This was sometime in November, way before he and Clark made a pact to leave this earth on sorta kinda the same day and go chill out together somewhere. File under: ways in which I try to cope with Clark’s death.

Anyway, enough about me. It was not allowed to take pictures, so the only picture I have is of the David Bowie cake type thing TBK had after the show:

Bowie cakeHow awesome? So awesome!

The next exhibition I dragged myself and TBK to, was the Covert to Overt – photography of Obey Giant by Jon Furlong one at the Melkweg Galery. I was fresh out of the hospital and too tired to live, but since this show was only going to be on for three days, I schlepped myself down there and took some pictures: click! More info about this exhibit can be found here.

And last but not least: Catwalk at the Rijksmuseum! Info about tickets and such can be found on their website, it is still on until the 16 of May. My pictures, with relevant and not so relevant captions, can be found here. Enjoy!